suddenly i'm famous and people know my name Hey hey. My name is CHO KULIT a bipolar bitch **,

i don't know for sure where this is going steph phrem anna laurene eva liezel

don't promise me forever just love me day by day Template: Elle (blog) Inspiration: balloon.s Fonts: toomunch Icons: defying affection Lyrics: Funny Little World Others: colour codes

they're all at a party down under, dancing like flames ▼ histories: 5/31/09 - 6/7/09 histories: 6/7/09 - 6/14/09 histories: 6/14/09 - 6/21/09 histories: 6/21/09 - 6/28/09 histories: 6/28/09 - 7/5/09 histories: 7/5/09 - 7/12/09 histories: 7/26/09 - 8/2/09 histories: 8/2/09 - 8/9/09 histories: 8/23/09 - 8/30/09 histories: 9/6/09 - 9/13/09 histories: 9/20/09 - 9/27/09 histories: 9/27/09 - 10/4/09 histories: 10/11/09 - 10/18/09 histories: 10/18/09 - 10/25/09 histories: 11/1/09 - 11/8/09 histories: 11/8/09 - 11/15/09 histories: 11/29/09 - 12/6/09 histories: 12/6/09 - 12/13/09 histories: 12/27/09 - 1/3/10 histories: 1/17/10 - 1/24/10 histories: 1/24/10 - 1/31/10 histories: 1/31/10 - 2/7/10 histories: 2/21/10 - 2/28/10 histories: 3/14/10 - 3/21/10 histories: 3/21/10 - 3/28/10 histories: 3/28/10 - 4/4/10 histories: 4/11/10 - 4/18/10 histories: 5/23/10 - 5/30/10 histories: 6/27/10 - 7/4/10 histories: 10/24/10 - 10/31/10 histories: 2/13/11 - 2/20/11 histories: 3/20/11 - 3/27/11 histories: 4/17/11 - 4/24/11 histories: 5/29/11 - 6/5/11 histories: 8/28/11 - 9/4/11 histories: 9/18/11 - 9/25/11 histories: 9/25/11 - 10/2/11 histories: 10/2/11 - 10/9/11 histories: 10/9/11 - 10/16/11 histories: 5/13/12 - 5/20/12 histories: 10/14/12 - 10/21/12 histories: 12/30/12 - 1/6/13

Here’s to all those girls who used to be his number one.

We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, got crap from our parents, and even snuck around to see him even for a while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking it would be just friends, and ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us.

Here’s to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here’s for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn’t possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us. We learned to SETTLE for someone who didn’t treat us the way we should be treated.

Here’s for the ones who did their hair and make up and put on their prettiest everything, only to hear him say that he couldn’t see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn’t believe that he could do this to us again. This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn’t bear to look back on their lives one day and wonder “what if”.

This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, and cried during the entire conversation. The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us. When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her, he didn’t mean it. This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with. This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, and get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that “You’re just not the one for me.” or maybe, “things were going too fast, I’m just not ready.” (Then later on find out he has a damn girlfriend already.)

Here’s to the girls who couldn’t cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt. The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn’t bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an “I told you so.” The ones that could just TELL that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts, their beds, and their dreams again. We knew that we deserved better the entire time, that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us when ever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that. Here’s for the ones that FINALLY realized that he never gave one thought about them. Here’s for the time that he took to waste, breaking your heart … again.

This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, and the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment. Here’s for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better. This is for those confusing days, when you miss him,and want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist. Stay strong, and remember that relationships are like broken glass,sometimes it’s better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together and get hurt all over again.

Remember the times you cried, and how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that. When your song comes on the radio, turn the station. When the day comes that he realizes the mistake he made and tries calling, turn your phone off. When he tries coming to your house, don’t answer the door.

Think of all the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation and the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the HELL he was. Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night. Think of how it felt to your stomach when you saw it wasn’t him, and realized that once again, he hasn’t called when he said he was going to. Think of how you excitedly enter the train station just so you can go to the place you were about to meet in time only to find out that he’ll be late for an hour or so. Think of how you spend the day looking for a perfect gift that he would really love only to hear him say “The gift was okay but you could have given me something better”. Think of how many days you skipped your lunch breaks just so you could give him the gift he wants for his birthday or for Christmas only to hear him say I’m sorry babe, I enjoyed doing this and that for 8 straight hours with the boys. I’m broke. Can I just give a kiss? Think of the time you spent thinking what you can do to make him happy only to find out he is busy spending his time thinking of strategies he should do to beat his effin’ computer playmates. Think of how he stole your youth and how he made you feel that you are his possession. Think of the long hours you dolled yourself up only to catch him look at other girls.

Think of how he called you selfish, spoiled brat and self-centered after all the things you’ve done, after all the sacrifices.

He might never feel your pain. He might never see the tears behind your nags. He might never notice the long hours you spent to make him happy. He might never notice a loving girlfriend behind that jealous girl you are. He might never see how beautiful and incomparable you are. He might never see your efforts. He might never feel how your stomach will ache after long hours of not having a meal because you want to give him something he’ll appreciate. He might never see the smile behind your cruel complains. He might never see the sweet girlfriend behind your stressful words. He might never see the proud girlfriend behind your loud mouth. He might never see these things. He might never see these things he abandoned with just a single text message, with just a simple “I quit. I’m tired. Goodbye. I love you”. If that is love then all people might as well leave each other and live alone. Goodbye but I love you? Does it make sense?

One day, you’ll find a guy who will be worth all the tears, but he won’t make you cry. You may think that you’ll never care about someone like you did to that guy that you always run back to, but you will. You may think you’ll never find a guy who will challenge you the way he did, but you will, and the only difference is he’ll challenge you to bring the loving girl back. Someday you’ll find your own hero. He may not be as good-looking as the guy you always run back to but he will surely show you how beautiful of a person he can be to a beautiful person you are. Someday you’ll meet someone who will save you from that SAME GUY. Someday that SAME GUY’S kisses (even if it was your first) will just be plain kisses, no feelings, no love. Someday you’ll meet a guy who will make things right and will give you the signal that the life as you know it ends. Someday God will give you the guy who will not only compensate your efforts but will make you feel you your efforts are enough and that you deserve more. Someday a guy who will understand your pain will come. Someday you’ll see how wonderful you are. Someday you’ll realize that the guy you always run back to is nothing but plain illusions of your young heart. That SAME GUY might be your first but what’s important is the man who will be with you all throughout and at the END, and the man who will be your prince charming in your own fairy tale. YEAH, It’s going to hurt like hell, and it will take sometime to heal, but the point is, IT WILL HEAL. Yes, it will heal.

Me, Myself and I. A bipolar kind of girl, people cannot understand me well and I think that's because I'm not ordinary. I am no good for anybody, boys can't love me, boy's can't stay longer in every relationship I had. I'm a big dreamer, I wanted to prove myself that I can do everything I wanted to do such as to become a script writer, a journalist, a photographer, a director, a fashion designer.. but an architect? I don't know what I thought about taking up this course, it's like I can't be happy with it. I remember those freshmen days where I had so many crushes and that really thought me to be inspired, I've been broken hearted with Harry, with Mark, with Jojo, with my bestfriend janseen, but that doesn't stop me from believing that I would find someone who could give all the happiness that I've been longing for, I met Dan. He was the only person who gave me such motivation to pursue architecture, I wanted to become an Architect, I want him to be the guy I could share forever with, I loved him more than a mouse loved cheese, I could give him everything in this world, I never thought destiny could find its way for us to meet and get closer to each other, It was 2008 since we first had our first stranger conversation tru friendster, then 2010 I noticed him first, it was love at first smile.. His smile?? I envy it the most and thought someday I could smile like that. I did everything for him to notice me too, I got 15 seconds of courage to tell him that I like him yet It wasn't that easy, he kept pushing me away.. But Love is stubborn. Til I finally captured his heart, he told me he loved me and he can't imagine me with someone else, He did loved me so much I wanted to be the best girlfriend ever but he just can no longer stay with me anymore, he felt tired, annoyed, upset... I don't understand what I did but the time came when he confessed he doesn't love me at all, that he loved sharie and not me. All my dreams vanished in a split seconds and I can see myself hanging around the corner, I could see myself dead in that very moment. Time passed, I kept committing suicide but unfortunately I'm still alive, I almost did everything for me to die but God doesn't want to see me dead yet. I've been stuck in grave for 4 months but it feels like a year of agony after all he told me he didn't really loved me and he was just pretending to love me back.

My friends kept telling me I can still find someone better and so there it is... A guy I didn't expect to come, Daryl..I know I'm not yet ready to open my heart again but I just need someone so much to fill those emptiness I had, until now..I tried so much to move on and forget about the love I wasted from Dan.. I never expected things to turn out like this, after a heavy rain...the rainbow appeared. Glad I'm happy again. :)

 I want to snuggle with you. I’d like to lie on you and put my head on your shoulder and breathe in the same rhythm that you’re breathing. I want to use one of my hands to rub your head, down to your neck, then to your arm, and then hold your hand. I’d like to rest my other hand on your hipbone, which is my favorite part of your body because it’s a straight and bony hip, nothing like my curvy, soft one.I’d like to stay there long enough so that our awkwardness goes away. I’d like to feel you give into the moment. Don’t ask yourself if this is too intimate. Don’t worry about sending me signals that you like me too much. Don’t think about what will happen with us tomorrow. Stop wondering if your team is winning and how much longer it will be until I get off of you so you can turn the game on.Make a joke after a few moments of peace, one of those jokes that isn’t funny because of its sharp wit, but funny because it’s a comment on our current state, designed to make both of us ease further into the bubble of each other that we’re currently floating in. You could say something about how I’m as pale as the sheets, or how your pet is staring at us from the corner, or how the lady upstairs is walking like an elephant. And we’ll laugh together. Not the laugh that we shared in the bar with our friends. Not the laugh that comes when you watch an episode of Flight Of The Conchords. Not the laugh that you force when your boss says something mean. This will be the laugh that you saved just for me, the one that’s vulnerable and soft and sweet, because that’s how you’re feeling towards me right now. You won’t think about what I said last week that made you angry. You won’t feel guilty for that thing you did that I would be upset about if I knew. You won’t plan what you’re having for dinner tonight. You will soak the right now of this up. Our moment.I’d like you to play with my hair. Don’t pat my head with a flat hand, put your fingers under my hair, on my scalp, and then run them through my hair like it’s a waterfall. Wrap both of your arms around me and give me a long, tight squeeze, the kind where in the last second, I need to inhale but I can’t. Then I’d like you to close your eyes, so I can prop myself over your face and study your features freely without you looking back at me. I want to kiss your jaw line, fondle your earlobes, sweep my cheek against yours. I want to stroke the slope of your nose and your eyelids and admire your eyelashes.I’d like you to run your thumb over my lips. Cup my face with both of your hands. And I want you to kiss me. This will be a kiss that liquefies from light to deep and then back to light. A seemingly endless kiss that doesn’t lead to anything else. It doesn’t need to. We’ll share it simply to feel the warmth that it brings on its own. Then I want you to roll me over. Lie on top of me and hold our arms over our heads so that I can feel all of your weight, strong and heavy and masculine.I want you to start at the beginning and do it again.


Why do I sound like I’m spouting cliques when I’m being entirely sincere? Why do I feel like I’m unable to express how sorry I am without making it seem like I’m looking for you to tell me, “it’s ok.” I swear I’m not looking for that. I realize it’s not ok and it’s not fine just because it’s what I want. It’s horrible and maybe I really am looking for you to get angry and tell me how horrible I am. But you won’t because you’re understanding and kind. And so I keep repeating myself and hating every word I say and neither of us feels any better and maybe that’s just life and I can’t fix something when I’m the one destroying it so who am I to keep trying to. I am so sick of hearing myself speak and I’m sure you are too so I will make more of an effort to shut the fuck up.



sometimes we let someone else's words take over our lives. If someone tells us our shirt is ugly, some of us would never wear it again. If someone tells us our teeth are crooked, some of us would never smile fully ever again. If someone told us the way we spoke was weird, some of us would never speak again. We'd change and we'd hide to please them ...





It's the scariest thing ever to realize how much someone means to you. When it hits you, I mean really hits you, all these thoughts and questions rush through your head at once. A sad emotion even starts to creep on you slowly inch by inch as you start to wonder.


What if for some reason things don't work out? - How are you possible going to live without them?


Someone that was once a stranger now is the only person you know like the back of your hand. Someone you once had no emotions for, now has the power to break your heart. Someone you never used to hang out with, now owns most of your time. someone you never thought you'd love, now owns your entire heart. Someone you once lived without, you now wish to hold onto forever.



Like a text message or someone’s status. Everything was going fine until you accidentally came across something you didn’t want to read. Or found out something you were better off not knowing. It’s almost as if it was posted just to purposely hurt you. But you constantly read it over and over again to torture yourself. It sucks how one little thing can ruin your whole day.

I don’t view relationships as finding someone to get married to. I view them as paths crossing, and sharing your life with someone you care about. But people change, their prospects change, and they have different goals in life. Sometimes those paths diverge and end up going in separate directions. If a relationship works out, then that’s great. But if it doesn’t, that’s okay too. All that matters is the special bond you shared with that other person for that temporary length of time—that secret part of you which you chose to reveal to them and can never take back. It changes you as a person. Forever.