AFTERSHOCK (Thursday, October 18, 2012 / 10:06 PM)
Me, Myself and I. A bipolar kind of girl, people cannot understand me well and I think that's because I'm not ordinary. I am no good for anybody, boys can't love me, boy's can't stay longer in every relationship I had. I'm a big dreamer, I wanted to prove myself that I can do everything I wanted to do such as to become a script writer, a journalist, a photographer, a director, a fashion designer.. but an architect? I don't know what I thought about taking up this course, it's like I can't be happy with it. I remember those freshmen days where I had so many crushes and that really thought me to be inspired, I've been broken hearted with Harry, with Mark, with Jojo, with my bestfriend janseen, but that doesn't stop me from believing that I would find someone who could give all the happiness that I've been longing for, I met Dan. He was the only person who gave me such motivation to pursue architecture, I wanted to become an Architect, I want him to be the guy I could share forever with, I loved him more than a mouse loved cheese, I could give him everything in this world, I never thought destiny could find its way for us to meet and get closer to each other, It was 2008 since we first had our first stranger conversation tru friendster, then 2010 I noticed him first, it was love at first smile.. His smile?? I envy it the most and thought someday I could smile like that. I did everything for him to notice me too, I got 15 seconds of courage to tell him that I like him yet It wasn't that easy, he kept pushing me away.. But Love is stubborn. Til I finally captured his heart, he told me he loved me and he can't imagine me with someone else, He did loved me so much I wanted to be the best girlfriend ever but he just can no longer stay with me anymore, he felt tired, annoyed, upset... I don't understand what I did but the time came when he confessed he doesn't love me at all, that he loved sharie and not me. All my dreams vanished in a split seconds and I can see myself hanging around the corner, I could see myself dead in that very moment. Time passed, I kept committing suicide but unfortunately I'm still alive, I almost did everything for me to die but God doesn't want to see me dead yet. I've been stuck in grave for 4 months but it feels like a year of agony after all he told me he didn't really loved me and he was just pretending to love me back.
My friends kept telling me I can still find someone better and so there it is... A guy I didn't expect to come, Daryl..I know I'm not yet ready to open my heart again but I just need someone so much to fill those emptiness I had, until now..I tried so much to move on and forget about the love I wasted from Dan.. I never expected things to turn out like this, after a heavy rain...the rainbow appeared. Glad I'm happy again. :)
steph