i cant let go (Monday, December 7, 2009 / 11:51 PM)
i still can't accept the fact that we're not meant for each other. i still often choose to stay and remain this feeling for a while. maybe a little forever of waiting? hoping for him to come back? . My big mistake! i shouldn't say the word goodbye in the first place, i shouldn't let him go. I can but my conscience wont allow me to. i love him to the highest level of my life, he means every single thing to me. he can't blame me why he became my zahir. I am obsessed because absence makes the heart go fonder. and that's the reason for everything. As of now, i begun to realize things, i regretted a lot of things. he used to tell jokes at me but i won't laugh. he tries to impress me with things that he had done but i ignored it. he gives me the cheapest gift but i didn't see the meaning of it. he kissed me but i laugh at it. he loved me but i think of my own way of loving him. i regretted this asshole memories. i am sorry for making this relationship worst. but i promise, i promise, i do promise, i learn to realize that i can't let go and i want you back in my life. forevermore?
steph